Hi. I think I understand about the horse issue. I don't ride competitively, just trail ride, but my horses were something that kept me going. I changed stables several times for some of the things you were talking about. Tack disappearing, refusal of the barn owner to cooperate. The first stable had a nice indoor arena with shredded rubber flooring. At the time, my horse was a five year old and kind of headstrong. The barn owner decided to longe him and he pulled her across the ring, so she took out a whip and started whipping him. We left. The second place, my guy had an acre of pasture with a shed, which would have been nice since he prefers the outdoors, but the barn owner kept putting rocks by the front of the pasture to help with drainage, and there was a constant fight with hoof abscesses. The barn owner refused to stop putting it there. My longe line, bridle and a blanket disappeared. Finally we found a good place. During our stay at the second place, I had picked up an old standard bred mare, due for the knackers, and just let her hang out with my riding horse. She died of colic about 6 years ago. It was a tremendous blow.

The horses at the stable I'm at are kept in herds. Their pastures are multiple acres, with four horses a pasture. My guy has been really happy and not had another abscess. I also picked up a connemara foal that was born on the premises and trained him from one month to going under saddle. I used to spend a lot of time there, just being with them was therapeutic. I have a chronic pain condition, which has worsened despite all the Dr,s have tried. Now I don't get to see my boys. I love both of them, and its killing me that I can't see them. Even going out to brush them winds up causing anywhere from one to three days of non-functioning pain. They are well treated, (the barn owner puts them before herself), and my friend's adult daughter continues to work with the connemara. Still, they are out there, so close yet inaccessible.

I used to have a good job, but for the past decade, the pain has been so debiitating that I'm only able to work two to three half days a week. Fortunately, my friends have helped me keep my horses.

Unless you've had a strong bond with a horse, its hard to understand. I'm sure there are others here who know what that feels like as well. Sorry to ramble.

Only you can make the decision about whether or not you want to meet this guy. It sounds like you have so much on your plate with emotional issues that one more might be too much. If you feel like you are coming apart, do you really want to add another emotional roller coaster to your life? Especially if he doesn't share your passion for horses, or at least understand about how you feel about them.

I don't think you are a nutjob. You do need to fill up your tank though. You are running on empty. With all that going on, it would be hard to add a relationship. Take your time and handle one thing at a time, or at least as few at a time as is possible. ]

Sam2