
Mar 17, 2013, 04:41 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 1,486
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Quote:
Originally Posted by onlytime
I've been seeing my current T for almost a year now. I like her a lot - she's really nice, validates my feelings, and really advocates for me (e.g. she doesn't hesitate to call and talk to my other treatment providers). However, sometimes I feel like she's not very skilled. I know that sounds horrible and I feel AWFUL thinking/saying that, but there are certain things that she just doesn't GET. Also, talking with her feels more like talking to a friend, a mentor, or the nice parent (of a friend) who I've always trusted. I want someone who can help me gain insight, not someone who will tell me that she used to hear that from her daughter and she (her daughter) grew out of it, so I'll feel better in time too.
I know I should talk to her about how I feel, blah blah blah, but I'm afraid I would offend her. I know most therapists say that they want to know if they're doing something that is unhelpful, but it feels so personal.
Sorry for the venting/rambling. I guess I just really needed to get this out. Any thoughts/feedback would be awesome too!
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It sounds like maybe she's trying to normalize your feelings and that can come off as invalidating, even if her intention is to be helpful.
I know it can be hard to confront a therapist with this sort of thing, but I find that it's easier if I say, for example, "when you say x it makes me feel invalidated (or misunderstood, etc.)" I find that saying 'it makes me feel' rather than it 'is' helps me bring it up and better opens up the lines of communication.
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