Sweetthinker-

In my relationship I have learned (through much therapy!) to do my part and nothing more. I cannot take on his responsibilities on top of mine. I agree with Leed- If he doesn't give you an answer and you make something he doesn't like, let him go hungry. He will learn. It sounds like he is the type who will only learn the hard way. It is a shame and quite frustrating, but sometimes that is where they are.

If it was me, next time the dinner situation happens, when he gripes about dinner, i would calmly say something like, "well, this is what I chose to make tonight, so this is what is for dinner. If you don't like it, you are more than happy to make something else, but this is what I am going to eat. Next time, if you tell me what you would like to have before dinner, I would be happy to make that for you." Something like that. I have found when I stick to my guns while maintaining calmness, I accomplish more than when I start a fight. Then my husband either lashes back or shuts down. In saying something like the above statement, I can rest assured that I have done my part responsibly, and it is now up to him to do the same. If he chooses not to, well, that is his choice and he has to live with the consequences.

Sorry that was so long, take it or leave it. I wish you luck.