hey, I just wanted to say I feel like I'm in a similar cycle, I used to be trim and athletic, I always had some underlying depression and am also bipolar (unmediated until 3 weeks ago). About 4 months ago my depression got horrible and I started binge eating like mad, as my weight went up and I stopped exercising I became more and more depressed and kept binging, I didn't even enjoy the food I just ate b/c I was angry and sad and overwhelmed...I am so hopeless.

I checked my self into a residential facility for eating disorders which made me feel absolutely horrible 90% of the girls/women there were extremely underweight so I felt enormous. I did stop my binging cycle and have now moved back home, but am still extremely depressed about my weight which is pretty much the same.

I don't want to stop eating completely or go on a crash diet, I know that is not the answer. I just wish my body could disappear until is was back at the weight I was at in November...who knows how long that will take.

OR82-I hate myself all the time too, I wish had some advice for you, I have supportive people in my life but I find no matter what they say or do I don't believe them, I just twist their words or just flat out don't believe them.