[QUOTE=Trippin2.0;2953215]I dont post here much, mostly because my bpd is only an actual problem when love is part of the equasion....[quote]
I know and I've missed you!!!
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Well here I am... after my last bpd explosion and more than a yr of silence, bf and I are back together. HOORAH!
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HOORAH!!! I'll be seeing more of you now..
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Problem is the dude works 7 days a week most weeks and is studying! I do NOT have to elaborate do I?
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I see.. not enough sex... That sucks!!!
**** me too!! In general tired.. not because of you or your post... So, don't go all bpd on me.
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Tired of reminding myself the truth, when he takes long to respond via text, I repeat "He's just busy, I'm not unimportant"....
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Actually, he IS responding right away..The problem is you're in South Africa and your cell phone system is horrid. I do NOT have to elaborate do I?
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Why can't my default thought be "he's busy" instead of the negative shyt my brain spews? He's been so amazing, and loving and things are just much better than before, so now I feel like I'm betraying him with these negative thoughts.
uhmmm pointless post. Its just that nobody else knows I have to counteract my default thought setting OFTEN. Its getting easier, like I dont panic and hyperventilate, break out in a sweat NOR do I want to chuck my phone into a wall anymore... but its still tiring.
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Oh ****!!! Now, I have to somehow pretend that I care...Do NOT let my caring go to your head.. I care.. just not that much..
I think it's going to be a constant asking yourself what is rational thinking vs. what is emotional thinking.. By that I mean do the facts support whatever your ****ed up emotional state of mind is telling you. I think most likely not. I also think you should find ways in which to distract yourself even if it's only momentary. This is a great opportunity to really challenge yourself to confront this emotional thinking. It will be hard at first but remind yourself the 20th time of practicing won't feel the same as the first time. It should get easier and in time become more natural.
I also think you should challenge yourself to send texts with the mindset of not expecting a response. It's like exposure therapy. I also think coping ahead will help tremendously. BEFORE you even send that text cope ahead by choosing how you'll respond/react constructively if you don't get a response right away....
If all that fails take a look at your address... you're in South Africa.. how ****ed up is that....
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uhmmm pointless post. Its just that nobody else knows I have to counteract my default thought setting OFTEN. Its getting easier, like I dont panic and hyperventilate, break out in a sweat NOR do I want to chuck my phone into a wall anymore... but its still tiring.
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I wouldn't say your post is pointless.... I see it as a more passive way of getting me to talk to you....
Basically, what your post is SCREAMING to me is... "if I can get cbox to feel sorry for me then he'll talk to me".... Hey, I would've talked to you anyways..
Kind of random, but if I was a therapist I'd write a book and title it something like..."Don't Let Your ****ed Up Mind Ruin Your Relationship"
love yah
-cbox