I have found (at the ripe old age of 56) that it doesn't start to become "clear" until one is in one's early 50's. I got a BA and went to work, etc. back in the 60s/70s (you think you don't belong in the 21st century, you should try the 1960s; I've never been more "scared" and confused in my life!) and now I'm working on a second BA (and then a masters, pretty much for the heck of it, I'm retired now). The second BA is because back in 1970 I changed my major in my senior year and got a degree in a whole nother subject than where my heart was but didn't realize it until 4-5 years ago when I was doing a pretend look-back from age 85 and what will I regret? exercise. So, I now am straightening out that 30+ year old mistake and having a ball doing so! Another thing, I didn't get married until I was 39 and my husband had been married before with 3 children and I didn't even "try" the children home or work problem and brood occasionally now on not having had children at all and who's going to look in on me in my old age and will I be totally forgotten 2 years after I die, etc.

I think we all have a "bag" of thoughts, problems, goals, etc. we carry around, sometimes working on some, avoiding others, trading still others, a bag that is unique, ours only. But I think it does magic things like Mary Poppins' bag when she pulled the lamp out of it :-)

Don't fret Rapunzel, life could never have gone the way you planned it in the past and it still isn't controllable now, in the present/future. It's going to change, probably beyond recognition and, as much as I'm able to "promise" you, it will be okay, you will be okay, you ARE okay.