Thank you for replying. My mother is in her 60s but cannot live alone. She never has. Even when separated from my father she lived at a facility where you got cooked meals and bills were paid by the facility, all she had to do was work 5 to 6 hours a day. But if you hear her talk about it, you'll think she was a slave somewhere. She's an expert at playing the "poor me" card. As soon as she reconciled with my dad, she stopped doing anything but torturing him. He got no food, no water, had to live in a shoddy extension to the main house when we had rooms not being used at all. When he tried to get family friends or church elders to talk to her, she'd cook up such a long list of grievances and sidetrack his situation so completely that it was my dad who ended up being lectured. The last time I went to her place, I had been refusing to go for over a yearso she cooked up terminal illness. The minute she told me, I replied that I think it's probably a lie...but I still went.

I really want to stay away. I know I'll get a really bad reputation if she ends up in a charitable old age home. I live in a small old fadhioned town. But I'd rather take that than keep her with me. I'm angry right now...but give it a month or two of "I lost my youth because of you" and I'll be guilt tripped again into giving her everything of mine. Yet a part of me thinks I should help her out. She did keep me with her for a decade and before my sister became what she is and my mother became bitterness personified, we did have some laughs. Moreover, I keep getting told that as I get older I'll really regret not trying to patch things up with my mother.
So here I am -90% saying no, 10% saying I guess I should.