Fleury,

Thank you for describing the situation a little more ~ I appreciate it!

Your description sounds like anxiety to me. Have your co-workers or customers judged your work poorly and shared that with you? Or are you assuming that they are talking smack about you when they glance at you and then laugh or roll their eyes and grunt?

Personally, I have worked under very stressful conditions as a waitress for a few years and in offices for a few years. Both situations were horrible for me at times!! When I worked in an office; What got me through those really dark times was working from moment to moment, day by day. I'd take my breaks outside and go for walks along the park every day to get me through. There were times that tears welled up in my eyes & I seriously wanted to leave and never return, but I knew that I could not give in to the fear. Because if I did, my fear would only grow stronger. That, I knew.

I also went to therapy weekly and took a daily anti-depressant (even though I was still a bit anti-medication back then...I was pretty desperate!) to help me through every day. After several more months, I was finally in a better position, and found a better job opportunity for me that happened to be closer to my apartment as well. So, I was finally able to quit that darn office job!

I had overcome my major panic disorder, which is how I learned not to avoid stress. What had begun as a seemingly simple thing to me, avoiding a certain type of person, soon led to me avoiding pretty much everybody! I was always in a panic, whether I was alone or with someone as I feared the next attack. It was crazy ~ I couldn't do anything for 3 years because I was that paranoid that I was going to die, I was crazy, or something else. It wasn't funny at all!!

Horrible situation ~ I feel for you. Thank goodness that part of my life is long gone. I sure as heck won't ever forget it though!! I hope that this response has helped you a little bit. Get some help. If you don't want to call a helpline tonight, call for help tomarrow. Okay?