... I was the same as I was before.

I wish I could be helpful and easy to be around.
I wish I was happy.
I wish I knew how to fix myself and my problems.
I wish I had motivation to do day-to-day things without being told to do them
I wish I could wish these things and so much more...

I wrote a journal entry for myself and gave it to my T when I saw her today. She said she was glad I was being honest. I don't like crying. I hate being weak. I am though. I'm not supposed to let the cognitive distortions win, but I don't know how to stop them. She says she'll call me on them when she hears them. Thats a good start right?

I can't do anything for myself anymore. I just don't feel like it - so not worth it.

edit - I noticed the cognitive distortion but am not going to fix it on here. This is where I am at emotionally. That is really freaking frustratingly depressing.