Thank you. I'm in grad school--almost done. I wasn't clear, though, in writing about the "I don't even like you" thing. He said differently before and after, but at the time, he was almost in a rage. The fact that he was in a rage and ordering me around should've red-flagged the interaction, too, but I wasn't thinking rationally. I had been on a roller coaster for so long that I was disoriented and unsure about my own worth and absolutely uncertain about what I wanted long-term. I see now that I needed to walk away, see that I needed to walk away many times before. I tried, but he always coaxed me back. The truth is, though, that he is incapable of liking or loving or having real emotions. And I guess I was susceptible to his charms and even the push-pull must've been affirming in some sick way. I'm trying to figure out now why I allowed myself to be subjected to that once, much less over a period of months. I have best friends--friends who like and love me. : ) From almost day one, he was referring to me as his best friend. Put that in the context of "I don't even like you," and it was just another confusing contradiction to digest.
I'm hoping for better now. I answered your private message. Thanks for that. I feel the fog lifting from my brain. My fear now is the next unavoidable encounter with him. I'm strong until he says something to me. Then the demons are unleashed.
Sally Met Harry
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
Sally,
I have reread your post, although I scanned part of its without getting into details.
What stands out is your amazing vocabulary. If you are an undergraduate, you are guaranteed a high GRE Verbal score. If you are a graduate student, you have already excelled on GRE Verbal.
That said, you make an impression of a person who missed kindergarten back then yet has been able to advance to higher education.
The fact that being liked is a hard requirement for friendship is learned in kindergarten. People learn this fact far earlier than they learn to use various words with the stem "penetr" or experiment with actions described by such words.
As people grow older and enter adulthood, they are faced with friendship issues that are more complex than those they faced in kindergarten. Say, "can you convert a relationship that was sexual in the past, to whatever degree, into friendship?"
But the core requirement of being liked remains.
If he told you that whatever he experienced towards you was animal attraction but he did not even like you, you should have immediately stopped any attempts at friendship.
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