I think you are having a hard time because you have not known anything else and going "out" and starting your life again, with what limited knowledge you had at 16 and haven't gained since, is very scary.

Do you have someone in your family you trust who does not live as near that you could go to, make it hard to go back to him within a day? Anyone who could help you find a job, get the rest of your education that you might want, get a job and try to move into a different, more comfortable life?