Thank you for your insight. I totally understand where you are coming from and I see it too. However, I've been to 3 different therapists already. None have helped. I have had both male and female therapists to ensure I got both perspectives. I have actually sought out female therapist in hopes that they could apply the female perspective on things.

I express my love through acts of selflessness and doing. This is how I communicate best, by doing rather than speaking. I don't like to hurt people by expressing my dissapproval. I would rather be the one hurt than hurt someone else. This has contributed to me not being willing to express my emotions of frustration and anger.

I'm a little resentful I guess of the fact that 12-13 years into the marriage I all of a sudden have to be giving her something that didn't even know how to do. What about loving someone unconditionally for all of their good and bad faults.

There are so many conflicting statements made by the 'experts'. I read an article today that talked about why men resent women. So much of it related to me and the fact that my wife also needs to back off an appreciate all that I do and not talk down to me. The fact that I come home from a full day of work and start 2 loads of wash to keep things moving and fold and put away the clothes does seem to matter. Not that I want her to say somethign but I don't want her to tell me that I folded the towels the wrong way.

There's more to it here and some of it falls on my spouse as well. If it's not her way then it's wrong...I'm tired of that too. So maybe, I don't want to change. I don't know. I'm just tired I guess but I'm afraid I will have let my sons down in the process. In all of this, that is my biggest fear...dissapointing my sons.