Hi there,
I've been meaning to post about this for awhile but have put it off until now. I'm not 100% sure that what I'm experiencing is depression, but I've got a pretty good feeling. For the past few months I've felt worse than I have in a long time. It's like I literally do not care about anything anymore, at least nothing important. At school I almost never turn in anything on time because I cannot bring myself to do it, I just don't care enough. I'm a senior and supposed to be going to college in the fall. I'm going to community college so it shouldn't be too much to handle. It's just that I'm not looking forward to it at all, to the point where I don't even really want to go anymore. Back in middle school I was sure that I wanted to be a psychologist, maybe even get my doctorate. I don't want to do that anymore, though I still maintain an interest in the subject. At the most I want to get my bachelors and maybe do something in writing. But how will I be able to manage that when I'm struggling to even finish high school? It's more than just senioritis because I've felt this way for a long time. I'm very much into natural living and what most people consider the "hippie", bohemian culture. I just want to live off the earth and live with people who feel the same. I don't want to have a fast paced, glamorous career someday. I don't care if I make a lot of money. I just want to relax and enjoy what I do. That seems so far away. I just don't understand why I feel so apathetic. I just don't care anymore. I'm sick to damn death of teachers and everyone bugging me. Why can't they just leave me alone? I feel like sleeping, like that's all I want to do.

I'm sorry if this sounds whiny, that's not what I intended. I just don't know what's going on. I keep telling this stuff to my therapist but its like she doesn't get it, like she ignores it or something. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in April but that seems so far away.