Today marks six days of sobriety from alchohol. I have not had a single drop. This is after having some form every single day for the past 20 years. Usually much more than one drink.

I am also have high functioning autism, which makes all social settings hell for me! So that has been my only way of being able to manage those settings in the past.

Today my boss set up some mixer which will involve drinking for next week with another team. This is a very rare event. I want to go... but I know I can't do it without drinking. I just can't. And if I start again, I will not be able to stop again. I am an alchoholic. I finally admit it.

The problem is that it is after my workday anyway. I could just say no. BUT... the team wants whoever does not attend to cover the phones for them!!! That is being punished twice !!!!

I so so badly just want to run out and get the largest bottle of vodka I can find and down it at once!!!!!