Some Questions:

1) have you always yearned to be as "sociable" "outgoing" and be able to join in the same "fun activities" as others, and maybe feel sad because you can't?

or

2) You dislike what others do, see no purpose, think they're silly, but feel pressured to adopt their behaviour to seem normal, and feel sad because you feel others won't accept the 'real' you?

as for your self-diagnosis of being a sociopath, just to be clear you know that means.. it is if you feel like harming others in very creative ways and still feel nothing. I would never ask you if you feel that way cause it's a very personal thing to admit, so I'll leave it as that