Hey, sounds like your daughter does have some issues that she needs to deal with. From what you wrote, she has it out for her sister and you, but not really for her brother. I'm sure it must be emotionally exhausting dealing with such temper tantrums and outbursts. She seems to want all your time, attention and money and the best way to get those is to guilt trip you into handing them over. I think it would be best if you distanced yourself. If she misses her family, she'll find a way to apologise and behave better. If not, you're spared further heartache.

From what I've read your daughter has some PD probably. My sister was diagnosed with npd by 2 different therapists..but by proxy. She'll never admit there's anything wrong with her so I doubt she'll ever go to one. Npd usually has a low self esteem with a high ego. Like, my sister sent every card to me with no other words but "from the world's most beautiful girl". However, she has body image issues (she's big built) and starts ranting at thin mannequins or pointing and laughing at thin pretty girls. Her sense of self worth is only intact as long as something around her doesn't challenge it. If your daughter also displays a high ego, then she may have npd.

I disagree with those who say labelling doesn't matter. It does. It helps you understand and recognize her behaviour. If you wish to help her get therapy, you can. However, I read on another forum that if you have an npd in your life, run. I agree. I'm badly scarred by my sister. It was like living with a black hole. I saw her use and abuse everyone she met and enjoy their final humiliation before moving on. I shudder for the people she's going to meet in the future.

As for this forum, I've seen more members that are dealing with some PD than victims of people afflicted with the bad PDs, so they're more into avoiding labelling and looking inward. Victims usually are helped by labelling and by a sympathetic ear. You have mine if you want