I spent a good portion of my life assuming that anything I said had the potential of getting someone mad at me so I was constantly protecting myself from the possibility and isolating myself. As I worked on my self esteem I found that the olf fear started to fade away and now I rarely feel the major anxiety I felt any time I said anything. I think that feeling better and stronger about myself has made me feel that I will survive if someone gets mad at me whereas before it felt like someone's anger could destroy the world. The confidence that the world will remain intact and I will be able to handle someone else's anger has helped me stop looking for anger where there may not be any. I still can't handle my own anger very well though.

I have found that this forum is for the most part a peaceable place. Most of the time when noses get bent out of joint it gets worked out in a fashion that I suspect I should have learned as a child. Most of the people here are so respectful of one another and do care what happens. Then when there is a incident everyone seems to pull together and try hard to help everyone involved. I like that. On the rare occasion that someone come here looking for a fight or too hurt someone I know that all of you will help protect me. I also know that if I do go over the deep end and say something out of line, all of you will help me fix it and make the apologies that are necessary. This place has been a wonderful learning place for me.
Carrie

<font color=green>But the implicit and usually unconscious bargain we make with ourselves is that, yes, we want to be healed, we want to be made whole, we're willing to go some distance, but we're not willing to question the fundamental assumptions upon which our way of life has been built, both personally and societally.--Bill Plotkin, Soulcraft