I think you are projecting many of your fears onto your T. Why should he end therapy with you because of these issues? If he did, then he's a pervert! (no, he isn't is he? why would he insist on touching you and being so put out over your protecting your personal space since he is a professional? He won't.) You will know to trust your T when you insist that you are not into hugging at this time, and he respects you for the decision. Good boundaries are one of the most necessary elements of being able to progress in therapy. YOU need to know where the boundaries are, that they are where they keep you safe, and that the T will not move them.

Asking to see your file won't do much good, I think. Ts usually keep more than one file, the main one is for the insurance company which, yes, you could get your diagnosis codes from it, but little else.

Viewing your records may do you more harm than good, and any T worth his salt would do what he could to talk you out of it, imo. You know the line,"You can't handle the truth?" Yeah. You already know how you feel, why do you need to see something in writing that you can't fully understand, don't agree with, or otherwise would become distressed over? No, not a good idea, imo.

The autonomy of the therapist and the expectation that the therapist operates under what they deem best for the client/patient is what generally reigns.

I think you are better off working on helping the T learn how to help you, what makes you uncomfortable and what the T can do to help you feel at ease.

What do you think?