P and TG have denifinitely good points! Your unwillingness to respond so easily is very, very exciting to guys - of all ages, unfortunately. Most your age are consumed with guys (and men) and boyfriends and are therefore, easier targets, so to speak. You, my darling, are a prize not easily won, in their minds, and THAT is very attractive. Think of you being like the Stanley Cup or a Superbowl Ring. Every guy dreams of obtaining one, yet few will, but ALL will try! I just wish I knew that before I tramped out! (I get to say that because I'm looking backwards in time now...). Oh, and the younger guys don't know why they do this; older men definitely do!

Anyway, where was I... oh yeah... I used to do that! I could never come out and just tell a guy that I was not interested or that I was dating someone, or anything. It felt like I was rejecting them and I didn't want to make them feel that way (especially if I thought I might change my mind about them). And I didn't want anyone NOT to like me. Saying no equalled rejection to me. I never wanted to be rejected and therefore, didn't want to reject anyone, either. I would have to create this whole weird thing which would end up making me look like a freaked-out nutjob.

Oh, what to tell you! This is going to sound sooo lame to you because it is so simple, but if you just tell them, "no, thanks" in the straightest and most serious face possible, that should work. If the same ones keep coming after you, they either really like you or really want you, know what I mean? You have to judge THAT one yourself, especially if you like the guy.

If they still don't get it, increase your intensity and firmness. If the same ones are still coming, well, they are either just awestruck by you or just crazy. Then you can go ballistic. THAT LAST ONE - GOING BALLISTIC - WAS A JOKE.

You will always have to deal with guys "coming on" to you from now on, to some degree. I found that when I finally accepted these as compliments, and with grace (not freaking out), and told the truth, at least I felt better about me. It didn't stop the guys from hitting on me, though, but I sure felt more and more comfortable saying no. Telling the truth = no guilt = no freak outs = control. For me, anyway....

It is okay, too, to enjoy some of this attention - even if it is only to yourself.

Oh, wow. Now I feel motherly-like! Weird. I hope I didn't sound like one, 'cause I'm not. Just smart about guys!

Anyway, one thing you know about yourself right now is that, if you had to, you could go ballistic and protect yourself, right? Be confident in that and start practicing new ways of dealing.

Altered State