It is a lot to take in at first. Keep in mind that your system is your system and was created by you for your specific needs. It's original purpose was to protect you. Now as we get older and out in the world we don't need the same protection as when we were little so our system doesn't always fit in the world. I am older and I see that there is a lot of feelings that I don't experience fully because they are shared between several alters. My desire now is to live a full concussions life with all of us as one. It is possible. It is sometimes scary and takes work but I know it is possible. Get to know your system that helped me a lot in the beginning. Take care.