Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I do see your point in talking to some official in school because they might be able to exert some power to prevent the guy in question from contacting Sally. I do not think this is a necessary course of action because I think she will be able to handle her situation by herself (there is nothing in the account to suggest she won't manage, eventually), but sure, it is a possible course of action.
What would be a "way out" if she tells her husband? I might see some value in telling the husband along the lines of deepening the connection between Sally and the husband or what not, regardless of the guy, possibly, but how would the husband's knowledge of Sally's situation prevent the guy in question from approaching Sally? Or do you expect Sally's husband to somehow intervene on Sally's behalf, and if so, won't this step make an already drama-filled and complex situation even more complex?
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Re: the husband, I guess my thought was that it could help her put an end to this---once he knows, the "secret" is no longer and needs to be faced and dealt with; I think it also makes it Real, right now the description is kin to a fantasy-in-motion & has taken on a life of it's own in the dark, warm, growth promoting secrecy. I was not thinking of him intervening. This is clearly a two way street, she is hesitating but then inviting, pulling away and then calling him back, they are both playing this game. As for school---I was thinking more along the lines of altering schedule/classes/logistics to avoid the contact---the person she speaks to, if adm. doesn't need to know details, just that she has a need for certain changes, if a counselor, that person can help her work through this in the context of being there.
----I know Sally will handle this one way or another, she already is by hanging on to the roller coaster---they can be mighty addictive emotionally---I think it is important that she figure out what she "likes" about the situation that she continues in it.
I think if I couldn't bread a cycle like this, I might even transfer schools.
Sex is seductive, and it does seem it is more about sexual fantasy being lived out than an actual relationship between two adults. I do not see her as a victim here.