To be honest it is easier to write responses than it is to write on my own initiative but here we go.....

I have a question about insiders and faith. not in a religious sense just that in our split we have some very different thoughts. some believe and some not. our littles believe and the older ones do not - at least they have said in the past they are done believing. it is very painful to think about the things that brought them to that point. I don't want for us to live in this life like this all the way to the end. thats a long time. so maybe it is best to talk about it.

sometimes I think about the ones believing can believe for all of them. the outside person feels so conflicted - when the littles are out and its about believing it is easier for the outside to join in. we call it her childlike faith. when the bigs are out and not believing, the outside doesn't want to get into an argument with them about it so she doesn't challenge them but sometimes they also use the body to say they don't believe. she says it is what they believe right now and lets it go.it isn't a bad thing we don't think cuz that is how it is for them. but that isn't quite true. sometimes she feels bad like she wants to punish the body for not believing. but then she sees it will also punish the littles. they don't deserve to be punished. it is just conflicting. back and forth. feeling torn for the outside.

the littles believe and have lots of love. the older insiders are angry and haven't had a chance to finish that work. the t passed away before we got there. he was so good for us. we miss him terribly. his wife said maybe we can make up a email adress for him that just us can get into and still write to him, that part feels good but he can't write back. that part feels lonely. but we don't think we will find another t like him to work with us on that. and our system wants to be respected for how we are, not told to shut down and be just a 1 because somebody doesn't understand DID. that is too hard if we are going to work on stuff. where we live people don't talk about DID.

also I think this forum is not for talking about religion so how do people talk about what is going on in that way? or is faith not considered religion? that would be good. is there a way to talk about what we described here or does it have to be on the more religious forum - cuz we don't think they can help us in the DID way. that would be important. lots of stuff happened in religion is how some of the split happened so I need to protect us from that. I peeked at those forums and couldn't stay there. I think they are good people it is just triggering for me and mine.

Is there a forum to talk about DID and faith? or spiritual abuse? trying to make a safe way to talk and not get hurt. so skimming the top. ok. thanks for listening.