He literally could just be telling me that he's running late, or that he has to cancel because his mom was rushed to the hospital. Or he could be telling me that he just feels like sleeping tonight because he's grieving and he's tired. All of these things are factors I not only do not control, but literally nothing to do with. Its not what he is saying, it is the way I interpret the action. I have a horribly abusive inner voice. This doesn't just happen with him...if one of you starts sounding overly stern with me via thread replies - I will start having anxiety attacks over all the reasons why I deserve to be hated and disliked, and how you are just smart enough to catch on to what a horrible human being I am so soon...etc. etc.

Again, this has nothing to do with him. This is entirely in my head. It happens with almost everyone, although the effect on Romantic relationships is considerably more profound.

And to the first that replied. Not interested in changing their beliefs. I honestly have gotten to a point where I would not cross the street to spit on them, so that is good. And my bf did not tell me about the accusations, they are quite content to tell me to my face.

Anyway, he has been as patient as one can be with someone who incessantly questions their every motive. It's exhausting being constantly accused, and it's especially so when you are innocent.

Am I making sense? Sometimes I ramble when I try to explain myself.