Ahhh.... How I love people that abuse religion. I am finding it very difficult to not be rude right now.
Am so so sorry that you've got all this on your plate. I guess that, as Hamster said, rational thinking has little chance. I hope he keeps being strong, and doesn't get worn down by his family and forced to choose. And with all that on your plate, I think the way you are with how you interpret some stuff to do with him is entirely understandable. Please be kind to yourself huh?