I think I've expressed many times my thoughts about your ex. I cannot stand the way he tries to manipulate you, Hammy. In any way you can, continue to let your girls know how much you love them. Facebook? Email? Phone calls without him intercepting?
Don't let him haunt you with your past. What's done is done.
Hammy, my heart hurts for you, but I know you have gained so much strength since I have known you.
Bluemountains