For me sex is about love and mutual pleasure. When you have been with someone for a while you learn how to pleasure them. I find enjoyment in that. Being a guy though, an orgasm is the best part of sex for us.

I think hooking up with a new guy would kinda suck for ladies. You have no idea if he is any good or if you will find thenexperience pleasurable. He could finish in 2 mins and be happy and you'll be left disappointed. STD's are also a concern, but you could always get tested and make him get tested too before you have sex. I'm married and I am pretty confident that I am my spouse's only sexual partner so I don't worry much about it.

It sounds like you have been with a bunch of crappy guys. I think selfish guys who are just concerned with getting off would make lousy partners. For me and my wife she almost always has an orgasm or multiple. I think that makes it more appealing. I think open communication and what feels good to you helps. When I first started having sex I was pretty terible and had no idea. My wife told me what fells good to her, and that having long fingernails is not a good thing. I think she is much happier know that I know compared to when we first started. I hope things work out and sex isn't the end all be all of a releationahip. I think trust good communication, mutaul life values and goals are more important in a releationship.