I understand your experience. I have bipolar disorder and have had little manic episodes which I enjoyed. Last year however I went extremely manic and did some crazy things which left me in terrible shape. I am just now starting to feel like the old me. Even my husband says I m not the same person that I used to be. But dont be discouraged because I feel like Im coming back to being me again. Hang in there
I agree with manicminer that you are probably in a bipolar depression.