Dear T,

truth is, even though we've just started CBT, i already have the nagging feeling that it won't help me. i feel so aimless in therapy, i don't feel like i'm going anywhere. my suicidality has been intensifying ever since i last met you, up to the point where i would like to say my last goodbyes after i met you this coming week. the thing is: i don't know whether i should tell you. i'm a wreck and i don't think i can be ironed out.