Greif.
The most horrendously painful thing in the world is for a mother to lose her child.
I'm really sorry and I can't even imagine the pain you feel.
I have been thinking suicidal thoughts over some stressful meeting coming up.
You have some real strength.
Hang in there.

PS Fire that PDoc and hire someone else. Sometimes all it takes is a formal complaint. Sounds like one may be in order.
(((Speed3)))