My question would be, comparing it to my situation with my own mother, is there room in your family for her to be competent? It almost looks like she is trying to be an overachiever. Yet she doesn't even cook or really know how to care for someone else. I can kind of relate to that - my efforts to do those things in the house were usually made fun of or undermined in some way. I finally apologized just this week for an awful remark I made to my t many years ago and oh yes he remembered it. But it took me this long to see it was an echo of something my mother had said to me many times. You know, my mother ca n really cook, and usually that is something italian mothers teach their daughters - but not in my case. it was too wrapped up in her own identity, she couldn't pass it on without losing herself.