I just remembered that ex-t (still ) said that I have a "self-defeating or masochistic" type of personality. I have a tendency to set myself up for failure. I do things that I think will be good for my family but will ultimatly hurt me. He said I need to figure out why I keep punishing myself. I guess that's where the masochistic comes from. I so wish that I could be working on resolving this stuff. Then I wouldn't be sitting here being anrgry at ex-t for dropping me and upset with myself for setting myself up again by believing him. I just can't seem to get over this and it's been about a month. Sorry for going on. It's not usually my style as I try not to bother others with my problems. But I'm so glad I found this place where i can think out loud and not be attacked for it. And I get to work on the Dr Seuss quote.