Hi dear Shezbut ~ why do you feel shame? These things happened many years ago, and undoubtedly had nothing to do with YOU. correct?? Is it that you're ashamed of your Grandpa? He's gone -- he passed away! There's nothing he can do to hurt you anymore. And there's a very good possibility that no one remembers him anymore except your family.

So why the shame? YOU have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Absolutely nothing! YOU did NOTHING shameful. nothing. Shame is NOT inherited. My Mom was an awful alcoholic, but *I* don't feel shame for what SHE did. She made a fool out of herself at some taverns at times, but that does NOT reflect on Me. That was HER cross to bear, not mine.

So if you're feeling shame about some family member, go bury it in the back yard. It doesnt belong to you. It's NOT yours. If you have to, make a ceremony out of it -- write shame on a piece of paper, and actually DO bury it in the back yard. Some people have actually done this. God bless my friend. Love, Lee