|
I was in her wedding and acted distant and jelous instead of happy for her. When it came time for my wedding I wouldn't even allow her to be a bridesmaid. We didn't speak for a year or so after that.
I understand the need to apologize and to share your diagnosis, but others have made some great comments and suggestions regarding that.
I wanted to point out -and Genetic alluded to this- that not all (of any of one's thoughts and behaviors, I think) are due to bipolar (i.e. what I bolded above). In that sense I don't think it would be helpful/healing to go back and attribute everything unpleasant (thoughts, behaviors) to your bipolar disorder. Looking back, some may have been perfectly 'normal' (no need to pathologize them) and others may be due to some psychological issues that you can work on, rather than due to an episode. I can't say for sure if what you've described above was part of an episode, I just want to point out that seeing all of your history through the lens of bipolar might lead to you missing out on other things you could work on, or simply forgiving yourself in the context of chalking them up to life happens, we all mess up sometimes, we all do things we're not proud of; no need to beat yourself up about it either way, though.
|