(((thunderbear)))
you sound really overwhelmed by all that's going on for you. Just reading it sounds like you have so much going on. Its also hard that you have ongoing physical pain too. Perhaps you could come online on your birthday and be with people in the cyber sense that appreciate your company and can give you cyber hugs and birthday wishes and hopefully that will make it a better day. Be kind to you it would be hard to be coping with so much stress.