From my experience, Shez, your hiding and repressing your emotions is not going to go away overnight. It's something you've done most of your life and it's just not something you can instantly stop or turn off. Remembering and coming to grips with why you are how you are will dramatically help though. You'll start realizing "hey, I feel __________ " and it's okay to let it go or to feel that way. It will actually be a conscious decision on your part at first and not always possible, but KNOWING what you're doing and why is the first, the largest step, to correcting it. My situation is not that much different than yours. It's only been the last year or so that I've realized that most of my issues stem from my dysfunctional mom, but knowing has helped me to better understand myself and I believe I've made strives in the right direction, and you will too.