All I can tell you is AA saved my life. I was a HEAVY drinker for 20 years -- and in about 4 months, I'll have 20 years sober!!! And it's all because of AA.
They gave me the support and the tools & knowledge to keep me sober. Before AA, I'd fallen into such despair that I felt I'd lost my soul. I drank to ease the pain, and that only depressed me more. It was a vicious circle that I couldn't get out of. I finally called AA and they gave me HOPE, which I hadn't had in years! There was finally some light.
Please give AA a try. You don't have to necessarily believe everything -- just take what you like and leave the rest. But AA has gotten more people sober and KEPT them sober than any other support group. Give them a call please.
I don't want you to die! God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee