MKAC, I would probably feel that way too. Like she deserves it a little bit. Or a lot!

I'm not sure this is relevant but I recently "found" my college bf and we exchanged some emails. We were both thin in college, and he was very good-looking! He was my first bf and we talked of marriage but it didn't happen. When I saw his FB photos, I was shocked. He's obese! I didn't even recognize him! I felt kind of bad, but kind of glad, because I'm not attracted to him. We're catching up on our lives for the past 40 years which is interesting, and talking about our college days. I'm glad he's happily married with grandchildren too, but I'm glad he doesn't look like he did back then. I'm a lot heavier too, but people tell me I look the same. And my H knows I'm emailing him and that's okay with him. I was just curious to see how his life turned out: I did not want a relationship with him.

I don't know what my point is. People change, I guess. And your thoughts and feelings are all right, whatever they are, as long as you don't act on them in a hurtful way. You're not going to tell her what you're thinking so don't be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do.