I understand your feeling. Your newly prescribed medications for bipolar II illness are
going to make it unnecessary for you to self-medicate, however. It's from that point
only that I am able to speak, because I've never had problems with addiction to
alcohol or marijuana, but I understand that they both are really troublesome to get
rid of completely (initially).

Please do post on the Addiction Forum, too, because they can give you better
information than I, although there are many here who may be able to give you helpful advice about what to do.

You understand, I feel sure, that bipolar illness is, in part, a chemical imbalance in the brain. Some psychiatrists have called it an inflammation of the brain in which a portion of the brain fires too rapidly. Others have called it simply a chemical imbalance. Still others have indicated a far more complex state of brain-organ involvement. Go figure! At any rate, understanding that may help you to see the role that Marijuana (especially) plays in calming the brain, and the effects of
alcohol, of course, which involve the whole system, unfortunately. (I suspect that Marijuana does, too.)

Take care.