Has anyone ever noticed the number of people who read posts marked "triggers." They, by far, outnumber all the other ones that get read.

Why are we so drawn to them? I know I am!

Do you know why you are?

I am drawn to these posts because, when I am calm and quiet, it feels too weird and unnatural. So I look for things to add fuel to my fire.

I think I feel ALIVE with energy (good or bad, it doesn't really seem to matter - as long as it's feeding me). The energy from these feelings seems to give me "personality." When I am calm and collected, I feel so non-descript, like I don't exist.

Do I need to be so masochistic to have a personality? Apparently so. The sick thing is, I kinda enjoy it. I like making myself feel miserable. Gee, and I thought the only addiction I had was to booze! Is there anything I won't stoop to, to get a fix of mental pain and torture?

Altered State