Although our relationship is functional and working for now, I am feeling more and more resentful towards my mother because of how she treats me, and it makes me feel even more desperate than I already am for some closeness with someone.

A number of things she does (or doesn't do) to me causes me untold frustration, resentment, and depression. She never seems to care how I feel, what I have to say, what I am doing, or if I exist. In fact, more often than not, it is like she doesn't acknowledge I am there. She is constantly yelling at me or ignoring me (one of the two) if she does notice me, and she doesn't consider me to be an equal member of the household despite my contributions.

What exacerbates these feelings is that I do all these things for her. Each morning I ask her how she is and how she slept, I listen to all her complaints, issues, and stories, help her with things around the house, arrange her doctor's appointments and other needs, make sure she has her prescriptions, etc. I am always there if she needs assistance or something done.

But if I need someone to hold a door open for me while I move something incredibly heavy this week, if I have a really special day, if I am sick like I am now, is someone there for me? Nope! Makes me feel like I really don't matter. When she cracked her skull, I took her to the hospital and stayed there the whole time while she had stitches in her head, and I was there when they were taken out too. When I was in a car accident nobody cared enough to ask if I was okay. Instead, while I was still in shock, I was insulted and told how useless I am by my family.

It's no secret to PC members that are familiar with my posts that I feel incredibly lonely, unlovable, and desperate for some closeness with someone, ideally a GF. Does it make sense why I feel like this? I am not able to describe how much it would mean to me to come home and have someone say, "Hi hun, how was your day?" As nice as it is, Facebook and PC chat can't replace that feeling, and there is rarely someone I trust enough to talk to online when I want to talk to someone, like right now.

Thanks for reading.