I kinda agree with riotgrrrrl. You say the rs is functional and working, but I feel like I've been in your shoes. You can't see the forest for the trees. Sorry for all the cliches. But there are like 3 stages - one is getting out, 2 is being out, and 3 is being somewhere else. You don't go straight from 1 to 3. In step 2, you're still the same person but you have to make your own choices. It's a lot scarier than it sounds. It's easy to say you'd rather be at 3. Wouldn't we all. But that's the devil you don't know. Just try to get out. Step 2 is worth it all on its own.