JonB - What does a man who is lookimg for some nookie look like? Normal? I don't think he will try anything, but I just don't want him to think about it... I just want to be another file that he puts away at the end of the day...

Myself, I live in another country and I think that I would have to get a court order to see my file... I don't really know. I'll find out on Monday when I see him again.

Sky... projecting... yes definately, is it healthy? He hugs me because he says he wants to show me that it is nothing more... I can't really touch other people and he wants to teach me to do it. For me touching is linked with sexual stuff. I don't think I have the guts to ask him to see my file, and in the end you are right, what good can come of it? I just want to know if he wrote "big fat lie" in bold across the front page.

Perna... very interesting, I haven't though of that. It might be, but I still want to believe that it is two separate issues... I don't know...

Sarah... I think we should switch shrinks!!! I must admit, I am curious about my file, but I think that relates to my insecurity of what other people think of me, which I know shouldn't govern my life.

Randy, (nice to meet you). I dont' want to switch T's. Gender is an issue, that's why I go to a male T. I have a bad relationship with my mom and my sister and my therapy with females didn't work because of that. I think Perna had a point with the whole "power struggle" thing. I've been thinking about it all week and I came to a shocking question... what if I want to hug him back? Will I have lost the battle? I like my T, he is very good in what he does, a bit unorthodox, but good.

Lilith... every aspect of therapy of makes me uncomfortable, maybe this is just a learning curve in the end?