Thanks so much for your thoughtful response, Rainbow. It's hard for me to quote on my phone, so I'll do my best to try to capture everything.

Yes, newT knows about T, and for how long I've seen her. I've made some attempts to process my relationship with T with newT (does that make sense?), but only here and there because I experience a lot of shame around my relationship with T, and because there have been other more pressing things to talk about. You're right that newT could be a good resource for helping me to decide.

And you're right too that I will likely develop the same kinds of feelings toward newT as I did with T. I'm wary of that happening, but I didn't exactly resolve that stuff with T, so to expect it not to follow me would just be foolish. I've spaced out appts with newT quite a bit and haven't allowed myself to do things like googling her in at least half an attempt to reduce some of the intensity. She's already way more self-disclosing anyway, so I don't find myself being all that curious about her, at least for now.

Your suggestions for closing sessions were good ones. If only they didn't terrify me...