You are totally out of line. "F" is not a child or a dependent, "F" is an adult. "F" is capable of making informed decisions. "F's" therapy is not your therapy. Your questioning "F's" treatment without talking with him is devaluing his therapeutic relationship. It seems there are major communication problems in your relationship and BOUNDARY issues, if you can not discuss your concerns with your partner, but instead go behind "F's" back and talk to his therapist. Tony is actually being ethical and honest to a client, "F." You are the one with questionable motives, if you are trying to manipulate "F's" therapist based on what you want.