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As best I can tell, learning to access feelings is sort of like learning to meditate. You sort of head yourself in the right direction as best your mind can figure out, and then let your body teach itself. That probably sounds weird. Maybe It's like figuring out how to sing on key. I don't know what I do to figure it out, but something in my muscles have a sense and have taught themselves and me. Some of us have a harder time that others singing on key, but I suspect the process is the same.
I think that's the best I can describe how I learned, I think.
All I know is eventually I did get in touch with my feelings
I also think IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a technique that helps me get there faster
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