Ah...one of my biggest issues, so to speak.
I don't know what to say except that for me it has taken a lot of time and patience. Of course that doesn't stop me from obsessing like crazy. And I find myself thinking they want nothing to do with me even if it's only been a few minutes since contact. Even my partner, whom I've been with for a year and a half and am now engaged to. I think unfortunately that it's something I might always experience to one degree or another. Meisjes is right though, distraction is a big help.