I thnk this instant world of computers and cell phones has not helped people who struggle with these issues. It make us want what we want now becuase in our minds we think people at the other end are right there by their phone or on their phone and ignoring us. That may or may not be true. But why think the worst of someone we love? My bet is they actually turn their phone/computer off or simply walk away from it so they can concentrate to do other things. No one should feel they need to be ready at our beck and call. this is a good way to loose relationships real fast.

It takes a lot of work changing our thought patterns around this. When we find ourselves in a situation where "I just can't wait,,,,please answer me now, right now," that is a good time to practice changing how we think about it. a good time to start is now because if it continues like mine did for years on end it wears a person pretty thin at both ends.

We can start by telling ourselves the reality of what the situation is:

-they might be doing some work
-they might be talking to someone else at the moment, they wil get to me when they have time
-I don't have to have a response right now. I can enjoy anticipating talking with them when I do get to hear from them.
-they are not required to answer me right now
-I can go for a walk
-I need to remove myself from the situation - turn off my own phone
-I can give others space
-is it really love when I feel so attached to them, or is it my need for attention?
- I need to relax in my relationships

For me it took a lot of time and a lot of relapses before I finally started to not be bothered by people not responding - all of about 20 years. I started working on it while in therapy 30 years ago. I started to realize that my "love" or "caring" about someone was more an infatuation or attention seeking behaviour than anything. Attention for what? validation of myself. validation that I was liked inspite of what my abusers said. a way to pretend I wasn't lonely. a dillusional affirmation that if they called it meant they were ok with my pestering them. it wasn't that I needed their response, I needed to find out why I thought I needed their response right away. What was the underlying problem in my own life that caused me to behave this way. Some people told me simply to never call them again or try to make any contact. they got so tired of it.

there are many many reasons to work this issue through so it doesn't control us. the first being that it simply destroys relationships and ourselves.