It does make sense to me that you've wanted to have some knowledge of where the perpetrator lives and what he's up to, but it can also be a bit disturbing and triggering, I think, so you might want to limit how often you keep tabs on him that way. I have done the same thing you have for a similar situation, and it affects me and shakes me up for several days, but it gives me a sense of control, too, to be able to quietly find out this information. I have to admit Facebook is a great way to find out what's going on!

I really do think it would be good to see a counselor again.

I will pray for you and your family. Your kids need you to be healthy and well so that you can care for them.