Hi. I was recently re-evaluated for Social Security Benefits two weeks ago and was told that I show high symptoms of PTSD as well as Anxiety and OCD. Among those diagnosis, I was told I show high symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.

I have been in the system since I was 8 years old, ever since I first began to act out. It had been after being molested by my mom's now current ex-boyfriend. I began to act a bit crazy from what I have been told. I don't remember. I could say that I was a completely different person and being told how I acted out as a child just makes me depressed. :c I was told that when I went to report the molestation, that I couldn't stop laughing and so he wasn't arrested... I don't know why I did this???

But ever since, I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II (Both Manic and Depressive) and was put on medication at 12 years old. I was counseled from 8 years old to 12 years old.

Well, I was taken off my meds last year around January because I had been told that it was making me sick. I had been taking Abilify 5mg for 6 years (varying from one a day and one night to two in the morning and one at night, etc. etc.). Then I was on and off Strattera, Prozac, and one other that I don't remember. I had taken Zoloft for a week and it make me completely flip out. While taking all these meds, I felt that I was too drowsy and like everything was foggy and dream-like. Now that's what my MOST of my past memories are - A fog.

I don't think I am Bipolar... I haven't taken medication for a little over a year now and the only problem I have is talking too much. But I think that's from being shy and friendless when I was a child - I always want/ed to be heard.

The only problem is when I get overwhelmed. When I get into a fight with my friends and upset, I feel like everyone's talking over me and everything's too loud and chaotic and I'm chaotic too. I begin yelling and trying to be heard over all the loud noise in my ears. It's not only when I fight either, but when I'm at a party with more than 3 people including myself. It causes a lot of problems with my friends. :/ And when I get upset and I argue with my boyfriend, I get like that too. Some times I don't think I'm fighting with them - Like they're not real and neither am I... Then I crash and I can't feel myself. I'm not real anymore and I can't feel my emotions but I speak them. I feel, well... Dead. :/

Why do you think this is? Some times it helps to handle a fight, because sometimes I crash before anything happens and I'm the one who isn't doing anything... But it's an issue overall. :/

Wow! I wrote a lot. Sorry about that, but I hope I got everything said - said. c: