So, I've recently met this guy here in Denver, and he's great. There's no other word for it. He's very sweet and funny and smart, he's a very patient person (he's a middle-school teacher, and that's proof if ever I saw it!). He's a certified ski instructor, a great ballroom dancer AND he's played pool in a league. He's fantastic. And I'm stumped as to how to explain to him that I don't know how to be in a good relationship... He actually seems pretty excited to see me again, and I really enjoy being with him, but I sometimes get the impression he doesn't always understand that I need him to "stay out." What I mean by that is that he wants to know everything about me, my thoughts, my feelings, etc., and I am not at all good at opening up about those things. I honestly don't feel that he needs to know everything, either - of course, I believe in total honesty in a relationship. However, I feel I am entitled to my private thoughts, feelings, etc. And frankly, there are many things about my past that, I feel, he wouldn't understand. They might even make him turn away from me.

Part of the reason I have so much trouble opening up is because I have a basic and instinctive distrust of people - I am definitely not one of those people who wears their heart on their sleeve. People seem to think it is because I am stuck-up, which is not true at all; it is simply that I know better than to do that, after so many years of being hurt. Also, in almost all of my previous relationships, my partner and I never got personal in that particular sense. That wasn't how it worked - usually, it was a more physical intimacy, complete with abuse on his part and guilt and regret on mine. So, perhaps the fact that this guy wants to get inside my head is a good thing. I wouldn't know. What I do know is that it takes a very, VERY long time for me to be that open with someone. Maybe he'd be okay with waiting, maybe he wouldn't. However, if anyone has any thoughts or advice on this issue, I'd be willing to listen...